Surrounded by Darkness yet Enfolded in Light

In this week's portion, Jacob sends his son Joseph to Shechem, to his brothers, to "check on their welfare and the welfare of the flocks." Shechem turns out to be merely a layover en route to Egypt. What should have been a quick routine trip turned into twenty-two years. Jacob spent the duration of that time grieving for a son presumed dead. So many lost years. One aches to reach back in time and warn him, “Don’t send him!” If not that, then at least to inform him that his son is alive, to restore some hope. If not that, then at least to offer him the chance to say a different kind of good-bye. Life, however, doesn’t work this way. Even in the Bible.

I struggle with goodbyes. “Have the best time!” “It's going to be awesome!” “I’m so excited that you have this opportunity!” Yet deep down I shudder. But I’m getting better at managing this. It helps that I trust my children. It helps me and I think it helps them as well; just knowing how much I believe in them. I know that they know that I’m always with them no matter how far they are. OK, I'm gonna stop here; this is getting out of control. I have the urge to say, “Kiss your kids each time you say good-bye …as if you won’t see them for twenty-two years.” But I won’t. That’s not the way it works. Not even in the Bible. Instead, hold them close and hug them in a way that tells them you’re always close no matter how far they are. That’s all they need. That’s all you need as well. I guarantee you'll be fine after the first or second drink.

On this Erev Shabbat and Chanuka, we are already in the mindset of celebrating the miracles of life. Including our children. The bittersweet irony lies in accepting how the full measure of that nature is only fully realized when they have stepped out, over the safe threshold of their childhood homes, out of their “Bayit” - into a cold and darkened winter night. The view of the world seen “Meebachuts” - “from the outside” can look shockingly different. A world where “brothers” might not act like brothers, filled with “deep pits” …where they think they are heading toward Shechem, but somehow they keep ending up in Egypt. Somehow, when it seems like the "oil" is about to run out, they discover who they are. They tap into an oil that fuels them whether they are in Shechem or Egypt. They tap into that Joseph "Beast Mode" and begin to learn about the power of grit, endurance, and persistence, and a whole new way of spectacular living.

The love that is kindled when they first arrive into our lives shines brightest when they embark... “Baruch Atah Bevoecha, Baruch Ata Betzaytecha.” “Blessed are they when they arrive and blessed are they when they step out onto the path that leads to whatever destiny awaits them.”